So I Haven't...Entered the Kettlebell.

 I lied.

Well...at least I haven't fulfilled the blogging hype of my last post.

Of course I have used a kettlebell sporadically and that's always my problem.  Sporadic bursts of enthusiams followed by consistent absence from physical activity.

I've gotten so fat, flabtastic, that I can't stand it...so I sit.  I sit and waste away.  I blobify day by day.  

I'm always tired and obligated to do things.  This is an excuse too.  Not working out is just prioritizing other things besides working out.  Often good things are prioritized: marriage, family, kids, work, sleep, etc...but you have so many hours in the day.

Something is better than nothing.  That's what I need to believe.  That's right internet!  I'll do something, not much...but something.  Something is better than nothing.

I won't let the nothing keep eating me alive.  I won't be Artax.

Whelp.

I reckon I've said my peace/piece(?) for the day.

Time to do something.

Week 1 of Flag Football

 So I was talked into playing flag football.  I was aware of this league but passed on it initially because catching and throwing the football was never my skill set.  I was a lineman.  Hitting, blocking, and smashing into people was what I did.  People get the wrong impression when they hear you played college football, they assume you'll actually be good at flag football.

Well, this day I was actually good.  I caught 2 touchdowns!  

(comparable but not exactly the same as below)

Our offense was struggling, sputtering, you might say and my touchdown was the first for our team.  My catch, perhaps, ignited our offense.  We went on to win 7 touchdowns to 4.  

The down side to this glorious day was my pulled hamstring.  Whilst sprinting and playing defense I felt the pangs of being out of shape.  My hamstring failed me.

(My face looked very similar to this)

Yet our team survived and ran out the clock while I limped around.

Now I ice and stretch and hope for recovery by week 2.

Birthday Party Binge Eating Hot Dog Failure

I lose all self-control at group gatherings.  My family got together with extended family to celebrate a bunch of birthdays all at once.  It turned into a hot dog eating contest: me against no one.  I just ate and ate and ate and ate dawg after dawg.

The Damage

I inhaled 4-5 hot dogs without thinking.  But those hot dogs needed friends, so I ate a small army of tater tots.  And also there was shredded pork, so I gobbled that up too.  

Then comes desert...

I ate entirely too much ice cream and cake.  Food failure.  Shame.  Disappointment, that I can't restrain myself.  But what of it?  All we can do is try again.  Get back on course.  

Weighing In

The most painful moment in this comes when I step back on the scale.  Here we find the tangible outcome of going off the rails.

I now weigh 281.6 which is an uptick from the mid 270's I had enjoyed not too long ago...

I'm upset.  I'm frustrated.  I want to be more consistent in my food choices and activities.  Emotional vomit session complete.  

Tomorrow is a new day, full of new opportunities to make healthy choices.

Bologna Lies

I'm full of bologna!

What a bunch of big talk about getting in shape during Coronavirus.  I'm a fraud.  A fat loss phony.

I've not worked out consistently.  Have I ever?

I console myself with the thought that no one is reading this, so I'm not REALLY doing any harm to anybody.  BUT by mistake someone could accidentally read this...and boy would they be disappointed.

I'm at 276 right now.  Will it ever change?  Will I ever change?  Will I ever get my act together?

I guess there is always tomorrow, but maybe not, who knows what could happen?

I have more questions than weight loss success right now.

Stay safe out there!

You're Not Fat Until You Break Chairs

That flimsy, plastic, folding chair never had a chance.  It's poorly made and totally worthless.  If you're not going to build a quality product, why bother making it?  Money I guess...but now the damage is done.  Nothing drives home the message more clearly than publicly sitting on a chair and breaking it.  It's like having a herald sound the trumpet, "Hear ye, hear ye that person is fat!"

I've broken my share of chairs and benches.  The first occurrence happened in first grade.  I was bouncing up and down on the bench at lunch when a loud crack reverberated through the concrete room.  The wooden bench snapped.  The janitor wasn't happy.  I was embarrassed.  To daily remind me of my husky nature a duct taped bench waited for me at lunch and demonstrated I was not kid-sized.

As an adult I've wised up.  I do not attempt rest on flimsy plastic chairs.  Still I face chair failure at unexpected moments.

This weekend I was indoors, but I wasn't safe.  The antique chair is equally risky.  I gingerly sat upon the dusty old chair.  It's holding...I can breathe.  Within minutes a felts something hit my toe, it was a loose bolt fallen out.  The strain of holding me wiggled loose a bolt.  Of course this happened when I was stuffing my face with chicken nuggets, reinforcing the problem - you're too fat!  Don't sit on me!

In summary: I have broken many chairs.  When this occurs I feel fat.  Could the world make better chairs?  Yes.  Should I lose weight?  Yes.

308: The Scale Speaks Truth

All great journeys are motivated by a moment when you realize that change must occur or destruction will arrive.  For me that happened when I looked down, over my increasingly large belly, to see the digital numbers on my scale...308 pounds.  Yikes!

To put things in perspective I'm a large adult male (not a 12-year-old girl as the gummy bear background and Hunger Games parody title may lead you to believe.  I just like candy.  What can I say?  I'm overweight.).  At 6'3" and a former defensive tackle, my frame can carry a lot of healthy weight.  Currently the poundage is NOT healthy or lean.  During my playing days the most I weighed was 286 and that was a powerful 286.

Football is over and my weight has soared to a new pinnacle of chubbiness.  Enough is enough.

Starting this blog is an attempt to process and correct my weight problems.  I anticipate a lot of thoughts about emotional eating, fitness plans, and finding a balanced solution that controls my weight. 

I hope that my journey can help someone else in the same boat.